No.

Jess and I had a lovely date night last night, going to see Blue Valentine and then grabbing a bite at Friendly Toast, next door to the theater.  Full and sleepy, we meandered back to Mass Ave, relaxed, happy, and contentedly conversing with our arms around each other. As we turned onto the main sidewalk from the path we'd been on, we unintentionally walked through the middle of a group of guys in their early- to mid-twenties, in pea coats and beanies, making their way towards MIT. They parted as we passed.

"Ooooohh, lesbians," purred one of them, turning to take a longer look.

I whirled. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

A couple of them turned around, but the half block already between us served as a barrier and we went our separate ways, no one saying anything more.  That was honestly for the better, because for all my bravado, empirically, we would not have been safe had it escalated.  Jess and I checked in with each other. "Are you okay?" I squeezed her hand and we walked on.

I've been thinking about it since, however.  Our options were to let it pass, along with a tatter of our pride, or call out in response and risk our own safety.  What a choice.

I'm curious as to what this asshole thought might happen by making that comment.  Would we turn, suddenly horny and just begging for it, and suggest he join us in an impromptu threesome on the cold streets of Cambridge? And oh, sure, your buddies can watch you score with more women than you ever have in the past - won't that be fun for all of us! Would we abandon each other and run begging into his arms, crying out for a real man to give us what we've been missing so?  Puhlease.

A day later, I have a few more words for this schmuck:

I'm not a curiosity in a shop window for your perusing pleasure.  I'm not a porn scene waiting to happen.  No.  I'm a business-minding stranger who happens to be out on a date with my girlfriend - not, mind you, for your perverse, voyeuristic benefit. Would you think it okay to pass any other type of person who was different from you and audibly comment on said difference?  Not likely.  How bout if I walked by you and said, "Ooohh, what a small dick," my gaze lingering pityingly over your diminutive crotch.  Newsflash!  Objectification doesn't feel so good, does it?


From the safety of your group of seven men, you felt it necessary to say what you did and to make us feel targeted, and that makes you not a big man, but an asshole, no more, no less.  You should be ashamed.  The next time you're out with your girlfriend, assuming you ever shut up long enough to get one, let's see if someone does anything remotely similar.  No? Must be nice.  To be out with the girl you love and not have anyone feel it's their right to comment.

Seriously, folks.  I hope you all speak up when you hear this shit, cause I'm sorry to say, it's still out there in force.  I'm not even kidding myself to say that this was remotely near the bad end of the spectrum of (micro)aggressions towards queers, but it's on there, and every little bit you do to fight it helps.  Let people know this is not okay - from comments to crime, this bullshit has to stop.