Checking out

A while back, I published the ridiculousity I've encountered while searching for new personal checks.  I was unsuccessful in my initial search, and therefore ventured back online to look again.

To no avail.

Observe the ongoing insanity that is the personal check business, and seriously ask yourself, again, what the hell you would think if someone presented you with one of the following forms of payment.

The Animal Series

Does your price wobble at all?

How much?

That price is exorbitant. I'm just shocked.

Good morning, Gil. I said Good morning, Gil!

Right, cause an animal with another (freshly killed) animal in its mouth is even remotely appropriate.

I think this is supposed to be some sort of statement about taking your time... but... really?!

 The Dental Hygiene Series

None of these, mind you, were in the "Business Checks" section.  I didn't mistakenly happen upon the "Checks for Dentists." No, no, these are just for regular, clean-toothed folks.

The Seriously Creepy Series

I may have to pay you, but I don't have to like it.

Whole new name to the concept of "safe checking."

Pay now, ask questions in THIRD GRADE later.

The Generally Inappropriate Series

This is, admittedly, what I wear when writing checks. :::sigh:::

I'd be an ass to pay that much. Incidentally, do you trust me with your money or what? Eh?

Again with the crotch shot!

I guess that's one place to write your checks...

I didn't even upload most of the Celebrity Checks - in case you weren't aware, you too can be the proud owner of Fergie checks! Elvira! Tim McGraw! Ozzy Osborne! Kenny Chesney! Jimi Hendrix! And ah, this gem:

Lil Wayne!

After hours of searching (hey, I'm procrastinating a thesis here!), I thought I had found one I could actually tolerate. It was a relatively demure design, if a little artsy fartsy, but there were no naked old men or vampires or awkward animals or gun-toting infants or anything of the sort even remotely in sight: 

Then I caught sight of the title the site had chosen to give this check series.  I shit you not, they called it "Creeping From the Corner." Seriously?!  Whyyyyyyy?!

My search goes on.