Ahhhh, summer at Smith. How I have missed you.
On the first day of class, we went around with introductions for the teacher's benefit and not ours, because we know each other and ourselves so well, of course. Person after person, myself included, said, "I'm a third year..." until one broke the mold and said "F that! I'm in my final summer!" and we cheered. I cheered. Rejoiced that we are finally here, finally in the last couple months of this training program, two weeks from the thesis deadline -- officially in the home stretch. And now, a week later on the real calendar and a month later in Smithtime, I'm sad to think this is it. I've already started to look nostalgically about, marveling at the lushness of the campus around me, the brilliance and beauty of the classmates beside me, the sheer privilege it is to be here at all, let alone for three summers, and I've started to brace for the odd bittersweet muddle I'm going to feel when it's over.
Here, I can spike my hair up as high as I damn well please, wear nail polish and make up with cut offs and flops and beaters, and it fits. It fits because the gender presentation continuum here is a unique, beautiful art form. I'm surrounded by gorgeous girls, boys, bois, dykes, femmes, proud queers and amazing allies, who have reminded me that my process is mine and everyone else be damned. I feel so comfortable here - like I've found my true skin.
Here, I've had the privilege of being a student again. Yeah, homework always kind of sucks, but some of the classes here have blown my mind and I'd be happy to do it all over again. I've met amazing mentors, professors, professionals, and peers, and it has changed my life. I think, sometimes, in the quiet of a Northampton afternoon, what I ever would have done if I hadn't gotten in here... I was so freaking miserable in so many ways when I got that letter in February. I knew, reading it, that my life was going to change for the better, and oh my gosh was I right. (And you all know I love being right.)
I'll be sad to leave this happy little haven. So many of my really important questions have been uncovered and then answered here - it's given me something that I never even knew I missed.
I'm so happy to be back. Let me relish the time, for how quickly it passes.
On the first day of class, we went around with introductions for the teacher's benefit and not ours, because we know each other and ourselves so well, of course. Person after person, myself included, said, "I'm a third year..." until one broke the mold and said "F that! I'm in my final summer!" and we cheered. I cheered. Rejoiced that we are finally here, finally in the last couple months of this training program, two weeks from the thesis deadline -- officially in the home stretch. And now, a week later on the real calendar and a month later in Smithtime, I'm sad to think this is it. I've already started to look nostalgically about, marveling at the lushness of the campus around me, the brilliance and beauty of the classmates beside me, the sheer privilege it is to be here at all, let alone for three summers, and I've started to brace for the odd bittersweet muddle I'm going to feel when it's over.
Here, I can spike my hair up as high as I damn well please, wear nail polish and make up with cut offs and flops and beaters, and it fits. It fits because the gender presentation continuum here is a unique, beautiful art form. I'm surrounded by gorgeous girls, boys, bois, dykes, femmes, proud queers and amazing allies, who have reminded me that my process is mine and everyone else be damned. I feel so comfortable here - like I've found my true skin.
Here, I've had the privilege of being a student again. Yeah, homework always kind of sucks, but some of the classes here have blown my mind and I'd be happy to do it all over again. I've met amazing mentors, professors, professionals, and peers, and it has changed my life. I think, sometimes, in the quiet of a Northampton afternoon, what I ever would have done if I hadn't gotten in here... I was so freaking miserable in so many ways when I got that letter in February. I knew, reading it, that my life was going to change for the better, and oh my gosh was I right. (And you all know I love being right.)
I'll be sad to leave this happy little haven. So many of my really important questions have been uncovered and then answered here - it's given me something that I never even knew I missed.
I'm so happy to be back. Let me relish the time, for how quickly it passes.
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