Hippopotame est heureux...

Happy Happy New New

2012-01-01T11:50:00.000-05:00

Alright friends, I know I haven't posted in a while, so cheers to you if you've found your way here and are still reading. It's time for my attempt at resolutions for 2012, or rather, guidelines. I prefer an easy hand. Did pretty well on last year's, and here are the newbies, in no particular order:

1.) Have a successful dinner party, cooked by me. And not my standard salmon-and-roasted-beans, but rather other food that I haven't tried to make before. I'm ready to feel more proficient in the kitchen.

2.) Lose... ohhh, about 40 pounds. No big deal. Just gotta work my ass off. Quite literally.

3.) Consolidate. Things, things, things. How much stuff do I really need? How much do I really use? Time to do an accounting.

4.) If this were a prioritized list, this would be Number 1: (Start to) pay my student loans. On time, hopefully more than asked at a time, and in a way that doesn't totally paralyze the rest of my life.

5.) Join a choir.

6.) Grow my hair back out? Hmm. This one's still up for debate.

7.) Pick and switch to a new bank? Seems like BoA is not really serving the people in the best of ways. Gotta do some investigating first though.

8.) Swear less.

9.) Keep up the good reading! I've been reading for pleasure so much since I graduated, and I just love it!

10.) Stop pulling out my hair. I pull out the white ones. I started finding black ones, and I started pulling those out too. I'm going to go bald if I don't stop. So I'm going to stop.

Hmm. Seems like 2012 has a lot of potential for hair. Let's hope there's even more in store for me and for you special people! I hope you have a joyful, laughter-filled year with people you love and that you find some satisfaction in every day of it. Happy New Year!

Giving thanks

2011-11-24T08:35:00.003-05:00

This was the acknowledgments page of my thesis - it could easily apply to my whole life:

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This thesis could not have been completed without the assistance and support of many people to whom I am deeply grateful.

First, a special acknowledgment of the supervisors, professors, peers, and instructors I have been fortunate to study with over the years in theater, English, music, psychology, and social work. Your wisdom, creativity, rigorous standards, and encouragement led me here.

A hearty, humble thank you to my thesis advisor Elizabeth Irvin, PhD, LICSW, for your guidance, equanimity, and reassurance through my sometimes-unconventional thesis process; to Deb and IFS for helping me uncover my inner achiever in all her fedora-wearing glory; to the many acquaintances who contributed uplifting energy and titles to my sample; and, of course, to the many artists, directors, writers, and producers who continue to try to depict therapy well onscreen.

Thank you to my Smithies for the support and learning you have so perceptively shared in our time here while becoming, to my utter joy, great friends; and to my chosen Chosen people and other kindred spirits for your willing ears, warm hugs, easy laughter, and brilliant, inspiring minds that have seen me through so many years – here’s to many more!

Much love and gratitude to my parents for believing in me, encouraging me to find a path in life that I am passionate about, and for remaining steady along the way. Thanks, as always, to my brother for your playful spirit, wise perspective, and for letting me be first just this once.

Finally, I especially wish to thank Jess for your unwavering support, love, patience, and humor. You’re the best thing.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Enjoy your day :)

People watching

2011-10-16T12:47:00.001-04:00

Since I make next to nothing as a social work fellow, I picked up a second job of sorts working in events support at a large event space downtown. My roommate's company runs it, and I can sign up for shifts whenever I'm free. It works for me because it allows for the hours of my other jobs but also provides long shifts that actually mean I make some decent money only working a couple days here and there.

Yesterday was my first shift, and it happened to be staffing a book festival. The day started with a kids event, then continued with events featuring the governor of Massachusetts (the day's most poorly-attended event... oops!), a 3-hour-long session on the Civil War, and a keynote address by Michael Ondaatje, author of The English Patient. The entire day I was thinking of Jess, obviously, and planning ways for her to do this event as an author next year, but I was also people watching. These are some of the things I observed:

- There are some very relaxed parents in this town. They stroll around public spaces and keep a roaming eye on their children, who are also in these public spaces, but far away from their parents. Occasionally this works well, and other times, it goes horribly. It works well when the kids come back, like little boomerangs, for periodic check-ins with their parent. "Look what I found!" they crow, as they drag their adult back to some corner somewhere where they found a treasure. "Are we going to eat soon?" some query, calmly, without whining, then take a parental hand and walk away. It works badly when the kids detach the virtual elastic that keeps them bouncing back to their parent, and instead start careening around like little whirlwinds, knocking over stanchions and getting underfoot. The relaxed parent may notice this and call out, or, being so ridiculously relaxed, not. Guess which parents I like?

- There are some very uptight parents in this town. They march, not stroll, and keep their children clutched in their iron grip, allowing them neither to roam nor look at the exciting things around them. I watched as one mother offered to buy her son a button being sold to support the local library, then lectured him for 5 minutes on how to stand as she pinned it to his chest. Someone behind her said something that she thought was intended for her, and she whirled, furious, to ostensibly yell at this distracting member of her party. Instead, she found herself face to face with stranger merely making a kindly comment to a friend, and uptight mom of the year turned back to her son, embarrassed. "Got a little stressed from this button," she tried to quip. The women at the button stand didn't laugh. Her son adjusted his t-shirt to peer at the back of the button. "Stand STILL!" He bowed his head. "I only wanted to see how it works, Mom." I died a little. That poor kid :(

- There are children who recognize candy and scream for it, eyes aglow with scary desire for sugar, over processed goods, and the satisfying crinkle of the wrapper that they will inevitably discard on the floor. These are the children who scream for it - "MomcanIhaveasnaaack? MomcanIhavesomecaaaandy? MomMomMomMomMom!" These children might do well to have a mother like the 2nd in the example above. More often than not, however, they're the ones with a parent who waltzes up to the concession counter at 10am and buys them a can of soda and a large size bag of candy - and I think, "Whyyyyyyy???" Then there are children who breeze by, not even noticing what might be in the bright packages, so excited are they to meet the author of their favorite book about a pigeon who goes to school and a pig who's friends with an elephant. Guess which kids I like?

- Some babies actually are ugly. I know you're not supposed to say that, but seriously. Some are. There. I said it.

- Some babies eat their clothing. The inherently endearing quality of this action provided me with much joy yesterday.

- Some babies throw everything - literally everything - on the floor and think it's the best joke ever. I like these babies best of all.

- The sound of an entire audience laughing is satisfying for everyone who hears it - the speaker onstage who incurred the laugh, the audience members, bonded in joy with their fellow attendees, and anyone outside the auditorium who is then immediately prompted to stick their head in to see if they can catch the joke - or at least hear the next one. This entire cycle is nice to watch.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be privy to more observations as this job continues, hopefully more on the hopeful side of this entry and less on the cynical side. My Saturday was a total wash, having sat there from 9:30am to 8:00pm, but hopefully the check will mean fun things :)

Pick me!

2011-09-14T18:04:00.000-04:00

As his graduation gift to me, my brother got two tickets to see the Red Sox play the Toronto Blue Jays at Fenway last night. We sat up on the roof deck, which was awesome - great view of the field, lovely breeze, sweet people around us (including a month-old baby who was just adorable in her Sox onesie) (would we call that a one-sock? Hmm.), and we got to see the Sox rout the Jays for Tim Wakefield's 200th win, which he's been trying for for a while now.

Most importantly, we were close to the NESN/stadium cameraguys in outer right field. Periodically throughout the game they would very obviously pan the crowd for candid and waving fan moments. I, of course, took this as a cue to wave frantically at frequent intervals smiling, "Pick me! Pick me!" It paid off, and we were on the jumbotron for a solid 20 seconds or more. Twice. TWICE. I friggin' loved it. Happy graduation to me, indeed! :)

I posted on facebook the following message, in my glee:

2 awesome roof deck tickets with my brother: $120
Assorted Fenway game food and beer: $35
Wins for Tim Wakefield: 200
Sox Win final score: 18-6
Making it on the jumbotron not once, but twice: Priceless

Anyway, I just logged into gmail and found this email from my mom:

Hey there,

Just got a call from Central Casting. They saw you on the Jumbotron last night?
No signature, no smiley face, nothin'. Touché.

Holy grMail

2011-07-21T00:24:00.000-04:00

My dad gets mail addressed to the "Reverend Dr. Barnes" sometimes. If it were addressed to the "Irreverent Dr. Barnes" it would be fitting... but alas, no.

Overheard again

2011-07-16T09:45:00.000-04:00

Same woman, same movie, later in the conversation:

"How's the homestead?"

"Ehhhh, I'm still gettin' used to the doors."

Is this a newfangled thing in her life? Hmm.

Overheard at the Movies

2011-07-15T09:43:00.001-04:00

"Oh, you can't see far? Try mine! They're Progressos."

Yes, for those of you out of the loop, Progresso is now making glasses. Frames come in marinara, alfredo, and tomato basil.

Celebrate!

2011-06-29T15:50:00.002-04:00

On Friday the 24th of June, I officially handed in my thesis! It was due by noon, at the latest. I had agreed to wait to do it with Megan, and she ran into some printing problems at the library, so we ended up running into Lilly Hall at about 11:55! (I was freaking out a little...) The Dean even came in to see us hand it in and the admin staff said they had been getting nervous... but all was well. We handed it in and received our Blue Slips without a hitch. Phew! In an awesome, supportive turn of events, a whole crowd of my classmates gathered to support all of us still turning our thesis in on the last day! It was a joyous occasion.

Jess was there to celebrate with me and get me through it!

On my way to hand it in! Super excited!

Blue slipped! That's me on the right, PS.

A little in awe, still :)

So happy! So blue!

Mimosas at Sylvester's to celebrate!

Then, on Tuesday the 28th, my class met at 6am outside the Greycourt Gates of Smith and paraded around the campus in celebration. We dressed in blue, and sometimes in blue versions of our thesis if able, and ran through the dorms and quads throwing candy and blowing our noisemakers and having a blast. Then we convened in the dining hall for our school-sponsored Thesis Breakfast and Awards ceremony. Can you say champagne bar?!

5:30 AM, all ready to go!

Parading with Jess

My table at the breakfast - so blue!

Me & MegO

Yes, we had a prom backdrop for pictures :)

Celebratory huddle

It has been fun to conclude this process with my peers and such joy :) I'm so proud of the work we have done!

The beginning and the end

2011-06-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

Since I know you're all chomping at the bit, here's the first paragraph of my thesis:

The purpose of this study is to examine how the therapeutic process is depicted in modern films produced for American audiences over the past two decades, with special reference to how the conventions of ethics in therapy are treated, and to discuss the implications of these findings for clinical practice. Since the first fictitious depiction of a therapist graced the Silver Screen in 1906 (Schneider, 1987, p. 996), mental health practitioners have been of great interest to movie-going audiences in the United States. The prolific nature of American cinema, coupled with home-viewing technology, has made these portrayals even more procurable over the past twenty years. Inevitably, individuals are bound to make inferences about the therapeutic process, therapists themselves, and to whom they offer their services based, at least in part, on these ubiquitous representations by the film industry.

And here's the last:

Finally, and most importantly, we can continue to practice ethically, as that is what will counteract these distorted representations most effectively. Indeed, social learning theory clearly states that “to the degree that a given individual has been exposed to behavioral experience that contradicts these stereotypes, the stereotype weakens for that individual” (Hedley, 1994, p. 737). The more we practice ethically, the more we weaken cinematic stereotypes.

If you're interested in the rest... let's chat :)

OMG.

2011-06-22T22:06:00.000-04:00

So... Hmmm... What can I tell you about today? Let's see... Well, my alarm went off, and I slept in a little, then I got up, showered, had some cereal, went to class, had some lunch, read for class, went to class, had some dinner... Hmm, what else?

That's weird. I know there was something...

Oh yeahhhh!

I FINISHED MY THESIS!!!

The masterpiece of my Masters in Social Work, Cinematic Sessions: The Ethics of Therapy in Hollywood Film, is officially, once and for all, finished. Fini. Finite. Finito. Terminado. DONE, bitches!!!

Gotta print it, pdf it, manila-envelope it, and hand it in on Friday, but that shiz is DONE.

I can't even tell you what a relief this is, how surreal it feels, to be here. I put so much work into this over the past year, in weird little spurts over the course of the internship and then pretty much non-stop for the past three weeks since I got back to Smith, and DANG does it feel good to get that final "Good to go!" from my thesis advisor!

Thank you to everyone who supported me through this process - you know who you are. If you find yourself with nothing to do and you ever want to read it, I have 90 pages of unmitigated glory for you to occupy yourself with. :)

3rd Year.

2011-06-15T10:25:00.011-04:00

Ahhhh, summer at Smith. How I have missed you.

On the first day of class, we went around with introductions for the teacher's benefit and not ours, because we know each other and ourselves so well, of course. Person after person, myself included, said, "I'm a third year..." until one broke the mold and said "F that! I'm in my final summer!" and we cheered. I cheered. Rejoiced that we are finally here, finally in the last couple months of this training program, two weeks from the thesis deadline -- officially in the home stretch. And now, a week later on the real calendar and a month later in Smithtime, I'm sad to think this is it. I've already started to look nostalgically about, marveling at the lushness of the campus around me, the brilliance and beauty of the classmates beside me, the sheer privilege it is to be here at all, let alone for three summers, and I've started to brace for the odd bittersweet muddle I'm going to feel when it's over.

Here, I can spike my hair up as high as I damn well please, wear nail polish and make up with cut offs and flops and beaters, and it fits. It fits because the gender presentation continuum here is a unique, beautiful art form. I'm surrounded by gorgeous girls, boys, bois, dykes, femmes, proud queers and amazing allies, who have reminded me that my process is mine and everyone else be damned. I feel so comfortable here - like I've found my true skin.

Here, I've had the privilege of being a student again. Yeah, homework always kind of sucks, but some of the classes here have blown my mind and I'd be happy to do it all over again. I've met amazing mentors, professors, professionals, and peers, and it has changed my life. I think, sometimes, in the quiet of a Northampton afternoon, what I ever would have done if I hadn't gotten in here... I was so freaking miserable in so many ways when I got that letter in February. I knew, reading it, that my life was going to change for the better, and oh my gosh was I right. (And you all know I love being right.)

I'll be sad to leave this happy little haven. So many of my really important questions have been uncovered and then answered here - it's given me something that I never even knew I missed.

I'm so happy to be back. Let me relish the time, for how quickly it passes.

Fiorio?

2011-06-01T10:22:00.001-04:00

My roommate and I are looking for a 3rd roommate for our sweet and sunny apartment in Inman Square, so if you know someone who might be interested, please holler. I wrote last year about the other side of the apartment search process, and have so far been totally unsurprised to find that this side of things is just as ridiculous at times.

We posted a pretty lengthy, cheery, and detailed ad about ourselves, who we're looking for, and the space. In the hour that it's been up on Craigslist, we've already received a lot of responses from interested parties. Some of these are equally detailed and hint at interesting and chill possible roommates at their source. Others... don't. One response, typed in lower case and without punctuation, read merely, "when can i move in". Hold your horses there, ee cummings. You can't.

Anyway, I just got one that included the line, "However I don't have any allergic to the pets." This immediately made me think of this scene from The Sopranos (which Jess and I have been marathoning, to the chagrin of Chapters 4 & 5 of my thesis) and Fiorio's hysterical delivery of his line. Thought I'd share the giggle:

And so it goes on. Again, if you know anyone... give a shout :)

Gaggle

2011-05-29T08:06:00.001-04:00

Driving near the reservoir in Brighton the other day, the car ahead of me slowed to an obnoxious crawl. I assumed they'd spotted one of the many speed traps the Boston Police like to set along there, and followed suit. They tapped their brakes about 5 times and alternated between speeding up and slowing down again and again before eventually speeding off around the next curve. I wondered, "What the hell?" and hovered in second, just in case a cop was lurking.

And then I saw them.

Two geese had made their way down the embankment and had stepped into the bike lane at the right side of the road. One would take a webbed step forward, then look back at the other, as if to say, "Well? C'mon!" Remembering the Boston classic Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey, I obviously had only one option. Wishing I had a camera with me, I sat in neutral as a line of cars built up behind me - and behind the car in the opposite lane, who had thankfully also agreed to let our winged friends pass.

Slowly, deliberately, and comically, they waddled on across the road to safety... and and life unpaused and we all drove on with a little smile.

Relating the story to Jess later on, she quipped, "What, no courtesy honk?"

Quick li'l update

2011-05-21T16:13:00.000-04:00

Hi Friends! Are you still checking here? If you are then you really are a friend, because I've been so neglectful. And I will continue to be, after this quick little update:

- I finished three chapters of my thesis by the deadline, turned them in for approval, and got it.

- I outlined the final 2 chapters and got approval for that too.

- I finished my second year internship, terminating with clients and coworkers alike (sad, on both counts).

- I went to Greece with my family for 12 days (and Germany for 4 hours) and made it back in tact. Stories to follow, when I'm a sane person again.

- I found an awesome subletter for my apartment for the summer - someone who loves the space and will see it as a home and not just a room, so that's nice.

- My girlfriend had her NYC Book Launch for Open-Eyed Sneeze, and it was an amazing success - she was funny as hell, looked HOT, and had about 100 people show up! If you want to buy one, there's a link at the top of her site - but be careful. Only buy it if you want to laugh so hard you pee your pants.

- Aaaaand I just got my data back from Smith, so now I have to write the final 2 (previously outlined) chapters. And that's why I'm still on hiatus.

I still love you, I promise. And I still have funny stories to share... just not yet.

I've been remiss me?

2011-04-20T19:40:00.002-04:00

No, Dad, your browser isn't broken. You haven't messed up the link to my blog. I really just haven't posted since March 30th.

See folks, there's this thing that I'm writing. It's called my thesis. I pretend it has a title, but it doesn't, so let's just end that charade right here and now. I've been working on it, ~~erratically~~ diligently, since September, and it's due in June. And actually, for all my talk of procrastination, I have all my data collected, coded, and submitted for analysis, three chapters drafted and awaiting edits, and the beginnings of deep thoughts for the final two chapters.

The outlines or drafts of those final two chapters are due, with the finalized first three chapters, on May 13th. The whole thing is due June 24th. "Not so bad," you might think. "You're on track, MFB," you might surmise. But no. The FBs are going on a family vacay, y'all, (1992 called and wants its summer vacation back) and whaddaya know, we get back on May 15th. When I calmly explained this to my advisor, she said, "Oh, that's okay. Just give it to me before you go!" Oh, great. Sure. Two weeks! What's two weeks, when you're writing a thesis and dying a little inside with every hour that passes?! Pssshhh.

So my deadline is now 4 days after the end of my internship. The last week and a half of my internship, mind you, involves insane amounts of paperwork explicating all the work I've done this year with my vastly needy clients -- all to properly document how there's not another therapist available to see them til July, or September if they want another social worker. What?! A shortage in human services?! A grossly-under-served population in serious need?! A system failing the poor and the sick?! Noooo.

But I digress.

My point, since I really do think I had one, is to say I'm sorry. I've been remiss. I've been shamefully absent, I admit. And it's not even over!! I have to do this. "This" as in my thesis, not as in "blog." The fate of the world depends on it. The "fate of the world" as in "my quest for extra initials."

I'm pretending that the three of you who read this actually miss me, here, so work with me folks. Squeeze those eyelids together, eeeeeeke out that tear... theeere you go. There it is! Awww. Isn't that sweet! You miss me! Knew we could get there.

Now hold that thought. For like, another month.

Save those number candles

2011-03-30T08:00:00.009-04:00

My mom emailed me yesterday to share this factoid with me on the eve of her 63rd birthday:

This is the last day when you will be 26 and I will be 62, when our ages are mirror images. It might happen again in eleven years (for three months) when you are 37 and I am 73, assuming we both live that long. We'll probably both have white hair by then. Incidentally, you were born in '84 and I was born in '48, so we've been mixing up the numbers for a long time.

Have a nice day!

Love, Mummy

Assuming I live to be 37?! Really, Mommer? Li'l dark. And nice dig about the hair... But then she went on in a second email about half an hour later:

Now I really can't tell you why this is true, but this is actually the third time our ages have been mirror images -- when you were 04 I was 40, when you were 15 I was 51.

We've already done the 26-62 and 37-73 ones, but it will happen again at 48-84 and then 59-95, but then it stops.

The Internet tells us that palindromic ages, when they occur, always happen every 11 years, and the age difference has to be a multiple of 9 (i.e. 4 x 9 = 36, the age difference between us). The difference between the digits will always be the factor for the nine (i.e. 6 - 2 = 4; 5 - 1 = 4).

But why, I can't tell you.

She has since been signing her emails to me: "2662!" Can we say adorable? All together now!

Happy Birthday, Mom! I've been mirroring you in some ways my whole life -- remember those purple sweatsuits? :) I love you very much - have a wonderful day and see you tomorrow for lobbies!

It goes on.

2011-03-26T12:15:00.000-04:00

I found another one.

A couple weeks ago, I stopped using my Brilliant Brunette in favor of this delicious-smelling grapefruit stuff. Sometimes I turn my head and catch a whiff and think, "Ooh! Where's the fruit bowl?!" But anyway. Do you think that's why?! Does BB have enough color to it that it would effectively dye my white hairs, if not my brown ones?

Friday Fact: Aging in America

2011-03-25T07:35:00.002-04:00

In the past two weeks, I have located upwards of ten -- that's TEN -- white hairs on my head.

Use your head!

2011-03-23T18:10:00.000-04:00

This just in, from my brother:

"I think you will appreciate this: The MLS team Philadelphia Union has a shirt sponsor for the first time this year; about 2/3 of the league's teams have a sponsor's logo on the front of their uniforms. Most clubs get 2-4 million bucks a year from these deals, so the cash is nothing to sneeze at. Sometimes it adds a little coolness factor (XBox in Seattle, Corona for Chivas USA), sometimes it's just part of the corporate presence (BMO, Bell, VW, Alaska Airlines, Amway), sometimes it's strange (Xango, Herbalife), and sometimes the whole team is named after the sponsor (Red Bulls!).

So... Philly will have BIMBO across their jerseys for the next four years.

This is the huge Mexican bakery company (pronounced "beem-bo") behind brands like Entenmann's, Thomas', Arnold, Freihofer, Boboli, etc. They also sponsor two or three of the biggest and most popular clubs in Mexico, and another club in costa rica or honduras, I forget which, so their logo is actually a pretty recognizable feature on soccer jerseys already. Now that in itself might not be the end of the world - I think most Americans would double-take at that word splashed across a shirt, but would probably get over it and hopefully have some awareness of global corporate capitalism and non-American brands. But who signed off on BIMBO's plan to run a nationwide "Soccer Mom of the Year" promotion?!?! Come on!"

Love it.

Bright College Years

2011-03-21T00:21:00.002-04:00

My cousin is a senior in high school. This is odd.

He has applied early to Yale, been deferred, and is now anxiously awaiting their final decision. This process sucks.

I remember when he was born. My brother and I got the birth announcement and our eyes nearly popped out of our heads when we saw how long his freaking name was. We're a family of hyphens, and his has a Scottish twist, resulting in a 30-letter moniker that rolls off the tongue surprisingly well. I won't reveal the actual name, having received severe reprimands for doing something similar once before, but I'll share this: I jokingly asked his mom if I could call him Gilly for short, and the icy glare I received is still melting somewhere in the house in Newton.

Anyway.

G.M'G was born, and I looked at the picture of the little nugget on the birth announcement next to my aunt's calligraphic writing (which, apparently, every female on that side of the family is innately able to do), and I thought "Damn. This kid's gonna apply early to Yale someday." No, actually, that's not what I thought at all. I think I thought "Damn. What a little nugget with a massively long name." I was 8. How deep could I get, really?

But I do remember that feeling of awe. I had a ~~nugget~~ cousin!! A buddy! A future friend! It was awesome.

They came to visit a few times when he was still a little beeb. We went out to California a few times. We did various things together and I continued to thrill at the idea of having a cousin - an automatic buddy! - to play with. He was pretty cool. He liked to smile. He liked to play musical instruments. He thought I was amazing and fun to hang out with. All positive things.

As he grew older, we learned about him from afar as the cross-country visits lessened in frequency. He liked unique and interesting things (read: He wasn't allowed to play organized sports so he took up medieval activities, like fencing and archery, and excelled at them. Go figure.). He was very musical (read: He played the penny whistle. Now he also plays guitar, violin, and sings - and probably does more that I don't know about - but the penny whistle is my favorite, for obvious reasons.). He was a cutie (read: Runs in the fam.). He was incredibly smart (read: He was incredibly smart. There's no hidden meaning behind that one.).

I sent him a birthday card when I was living in New York in 2006. I drew a big bubble-letter 12! on the inside left card page. He was turning 14. He still talks to me. This demonstrates his forgiving and loving nature.

As some of you may recall, I went out to San Francisco last February and stopped in for a night with the fam. I learned on this trip, in addition to all those other things, that he has an intense love for The Dave Matthews Band. He also now swears. He gives a huge, awesome hug. He has increased in awesomeness.

He came out East to look at colleges this past summer and stayed with us for a week. I got really excited for him, picturing all the freshman week activities that start off the whole college experience - foam parties, awkward ice-breakers, not knowing who to sit with in the dining hall, the unlimited breakfast buffet that exists every day in exchange for a mere swipe of your student card (also known as fake money used to magically do laundry and get late night snacks at the Corner ~~Whore~~ Store), and the instimacy of bonding with the people who will become your best friends faster than you ever could have imagined, and stay so literally for the rest of your life. I pictured him trying out for a cappella, his beautiful bass kicking ass and landing him a couple bids at least. Then I got a little nostalgic until I remembered that I have one last summer at ~~grown up summer camp~~ grad school and there was no need to be jealous.

It was fun to have him around that week. Jess noted that he's like the younger brother I never had but always wanted. She had a blast watching the two of us interact - ribbing each other relentlessly, but with such love. Seriously. Such love. I love this kid. He amazes me. He is so freaking smart, it blows my mind, and he's got an edgy little sense of humor now that makes me oddly proud. On my mom's side of the family, there are relatively few of us in our level of the family tree. In fact, there are four of us. That's it. I made a conscious effort to try to keep the distance between us a geographical thing alone; I've tried to stay in touch with him so he knows he can reach out whenever he wants or needs, to find family - nutty, goofy, but with such love for him. The thought of having him 45 minutes away is ridiculously exciting.

He's a Debater, just like our great-grandfather (or was it great-great?). This means doing lots of research, accessorizing primarily with Thesauri, practicing how to say really big words in a really small amount of time, doing lots of standing up and pacing, and also, in his case, doing lots of mopping the floor with just about everyone he comes up against. Incidentally, have you ever heard real debate? The ridiculously fast pace they use to say anything and everything in an allotted segment of time has prepared him for a college major in Auctioneering. Even at the dinner table he talks a mile a minute, so I can only imagine how good he is at this. Anyway, he just qualified for Nationals, so... he's kiiiind of a big deal. And even if that somehow doesn't pan out, he's over 6 feet tall so he's still kind of a big deal.

I remember that week in December 2001 when my friends and I all started to hear back from schools. Accepted early at Harvard! Accepted early at Yale! Accepted early at Brown! And then there was me. Rejected early from Barnard! Thaaat sucked, but ultimately led me to Rochester, where I met some of my best friends and had a blast. I think a lot about that decision. My life would be SO. DIFFERENT. today were it not for that decision. So yeah. I get the anxiety he's feeling right now, waiting to hear. It's rough.

That said, college is college. It changes your life regardless. You meet amazing people, take some amazing classes, suffer through some shitty professors, and learn a lot about a lot of things - sometimes leading you with even more certainty down a path that you've been planning to follow for years, sometimes leading you to something you haven't even conceived of yet. If you're a smart, driven, inquisitive, social, and talented kid, you're going to make it wherever you go.

(Hey, Cuz! That's you!)

Sending madly good vibes to the West on your behalf!!

Choo choo!

2011-03-19T16:53:00.001-04:00

I once told Jess, "I'm a social worker. We use resources and connections to mobilize the communities around us in collective efforts towards the greater good."

Looks like a little bit of that orientation has rubbed off on my lady!

First of all, she's started to comfortably use "process" as a verb on a frequent basis, making my therapist heart go pitter-pat. She even said "empathic failure" earlier this week, but I was in a huff at the time and didn't want to Time Out to giggle... but I noticed, honey! I noticed!

Lastly, most importantly, and most social-worker-y, in a momentous decision this past week, she decided to self-publish her memoir, Open-Eyed Sneeze. But she is not doing this alone! No, no. From a strengths-based stance, she's recognizing the potential of her immensely talented friends and family and making use of it in a mutually-beneficial way! And I can assure you, it's for the greater good. Homegirl's wicked funny, wicked smaahht, with a lot to say in a relevant way to the new class of graduates this Spring - and, let's face it, anyone who's ever experienced that "Okay, what now?" feeling ever in your life.

If you haven't already shared her hysterical blog with everyone you know, now's the time* - the book is on the move, y'all, and I promise, you want to get on this train.

*Go to her blog, click "follow" on the right-hand side of the page (you might have to scroll down a bit), and then tell everyone you know. Seriously. Everyone.

Friday Fact: Eye contact.

2011-03-18T07:15:00.002-04:00

People who talk with their eyes closed at all times deserve to be punched in the face. It's their own fault that they won't see it coming.

Little in the middle but...

2011-03-17T13:50:00.003-04:00

My derrière gets a lot of attention. I don't shake it; it shakes itself. And when I'm walking down the street, people think it's somehow okay to comment.

Past gems include "Dddddaaaaamn! That's a black girl AND a white girl!" and "Girl is that ALL yours?! Is that real?! Cause... hoooo! Mm, mm, mmm." Other people get much more specific and graphic with their imaginings, and it actually gets pretty annoying.

This week, walking to yoga, I passed a homeless man gracing the doorway of a shop in Inman Square. "You have beautiful eyes," he said as I passed. I smiled and kept walking. Nope. Not good enough. He hollered, "I said, I like your beautiful eyes!! And your big assssssssssssss!"

Thaaaat's great. Thanks.

Balderdash: Blog Edition

2011-03-14T07:20:00.004-04:00

The bells 'n' whistles of the boardgame Balderdash is an amazing gimmick, since clearly you can play with a dictionary alone. That's how my family did it, at least. Here're our rules:

One person states a word or phrase selected at random from a dictionary and the other players submit phony definitions. The reader writes the real definition, scrambles them all into random order, then reads them aloud. The definition with the most votes gets a point, and anyone who guesses the real definition gets a point.

I hereby challenge you, readers, to a virtual game of Dictionary:

Ring piece
noun
| ri ng pēs |

Submit your definitions in the comments anonymously. If we have enough players (at least 5, let's say), I'll post again with the offerings, then ya'll vote via comments again, and then I'll post again with the winner and the ah, real story. Whatever, this could be fun.

Checking out

2011-03-13T07:40:00.014-04:00

A while back, I published the ridiculousity I've encountered while searching for new personal checks. I was unsuccessful in my initial search, and therefore ventured back online to look again.

To no avail.

Observe the ongoing insanity that is the personal check business, and seriously ask yourself, again, what the hell you would think if someone presented you with one of the following forms of payment.

The Animal Series

Does your price wobble at all?

How much?

That price is exorbitant. I'm just shocked.

Good morning, Gil. I said Good morning, Gil!

Right, cause an animal with another (freshly killed) animal in its mouth is even remotely appropriate.

I think this is supposed to be some sort of statement about taking your time... but... really?!

The Dental Hygiene Series

None of these, mind you, were in the "Business Checks" section. I didn't mistakenly happen upon the "Checks for Dentists." No, no, these are just for regular, clean-toothed folks.

The Seriously Creepy Series

I may have to pay you, but I don't have to like it.

Whole new name to the concept of "safe checking."

Pay now, ask questions in THIRD GRADE later.

The Generally Inappropriate Series

This is, admittedly, what I wear when writing checks. :::sigh:::

I'd be an ass to pay that much. Incidentally, do you trust me with your money or what? Eh?

Again with the crotch shot!

I guess that's one place to write your checks...

I didn't even upload most of the Celebrity Checks - in case you weren't aware, you too can be the proud owner of Fergie checks! Elvira! Tim McGraw! Ozzy Osborne! Kenny Chesney! Jimi Hendrix! And ah, this gem:

Lil Wayne!

After hours of searching (hey, I'm procrastinating a thesis here!), I thought I had found one I could actually tolerate. It was a relatively demure design, if a little artsy fartsy, but there were no naked old men or vampires or awkward animals or gun-toting infants or anything of the sort even remotely in sight:

Then I caught sight of the title the site had chosen to give this check series. I shit you not, they called it "Creeping From the Corner." Seriously?! Whyyyyyyy?!

My search goes on.

Pardon me, Sir.

2011-03-12T09:20:00.001-05:00

Bubba: I am no longer ascribing to the moniker "cheap bastard." I have decided to identify instead with "frugal gentleman."
Margot: Well, some other things are going to have to change...
Bubba: (indignant) Like what?!?!

Friday Fact: Fatty McStupid

2011-03-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

"Chew and swallow, chew and swallow, that's the way we eat! our! food!"

My mom and dad used to sing that to me at the dinner table when I was little to help me get productively through mealtime. I only did one or the other, see.

So punny.

2011-03-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

Jess works at a non-Kosher Jewish deli in ~~the most civilized~~ a suburb of Boston. They sell tee-shirts, which the servers also wear, that sport punny phrases taken from menu-items, Yiddish, and general Jewish culture. She came up with a phrase that made it onto a shirt shortly after starting there: "Thanks a latke!"

"It's my first published work," she likes to say.

We were talking last night about a customer who went on and on about his idea to have local schoolchildren compete in a tee-shirt phrase contest and have the restaurant feature the winner on an actual tee-shirt. This, of course, led to a swap of fun ideas of our own. Here are my latest:

- Hash or credit?
- Honorable menschion
- Don't menschion it
- In the blink of a rye
- Kugel maps
- Slaw and Order
- Griddle me this
- Pickle and dimed
- Under lox and key

So if social work doesn't pay...

Mockingbird, indeed.

2011-03-02T08:08:00.000-05:00

I've been bugging Jess to read my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird, practically since I met her. She finally started it last night and got through 10 pages before falling asleep. "I like it a lot," she mumbled. This morning I encouraged her to continue, as Harper Lee really is hysterical. "It gets funny?" she asked. "Cause it hasn't been so far."

"Dill? Scout?! They're so funny! And Atticus? Oh my god he's like a dream dad. I wanted him to be my dad when I was little."

A pause, a little grin, and then my funny girl delivered: "...Dadicus?"

No.

2011-02-27T17:18:00.000-05:00

Jess and I had a lovely date night last night, going to see Blue Valentine and then grabbing a bite at Friendly Toast, next door to the theater. Full and sleepy, we meandered back to Mass Ave, relaxed, happy, and contentedly conversing with our arms around each other. As we turned onto the main sidewalk from the path we'd been on, we unintentionally walked through the middle of a group of guys in their early- to mid-twenties, in pea coats and beanies, making their way towards MIT. They parted as we passed.

"Ooooohh, lesbians," purred one of them, turning to take a longer look.

I whirled. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

A couple of them turned around, but the half block already between us served as a barrier and we went our separate ways, no one saying anything more. That was honestly for the better, because for all my bravado, empirically, we would not have been safe had it escalated. Jess and I checked in with each other. "Are you okay?" I squeezed her hand and we walked on.

I've been thinking about it since, however. Our options were to let it pass, along with a tatter of our pride, or call out in response and risk our own safety. What a choice.

I'm curious as to what this asshole thought might happen by making that comment. Would we turn, suddenly horny and just begging for it, and suggest he join us in an impromptu threesome on the cold streets of Cambridge? And oh, sure, your buddies can watch you score with more women than you ever have in the past - won't that be fun for all of us! Would we abandon each other and run begging into his arms, crying out for a real man to give us what we've been missing so? Puhlease.

A day later, I have a few more words for this schmuck:

I'm not a curiosity in a shop window for your perusing pleasure. I'm not a porn scene waiting to happen. No. I'm a business-minding stranger who happens to be out on a date with my girlfriend - not, mind you, for your perverse, voyeuristic benefit. Would you think it okay to pass any other type of person who was different from you and audibly comment on said difference? Not likely. How bout if I walked by you and said, "Ooohh, what a small dick," my gaze lingering pityingly over your diminutive crotch. Newsflash! Objectification doesn't feel so good, does it?

From the safety of your group of seven men, you felt it necessary to say what you did and to make us feel targeted, and that makes you not a big man, but an asshole, no more, no less. You should be ashamed. The next time you're out with your girlfriend, assuming you ever shut up long enough to get one, let's see if someone does anything remotely similar. No? Must be nice. To be out with the girl you love and not have anyone feel it's their right to comment.

Seriously, folks. I hope you all speak up when you hear this shit, cause I'm sorry to say, it's still out there in force. I'm not even kidding myself to say that this was remotely near the bad end of the spectrum of (micro)aggressions towards queers, but it's on there, and every little bit you do to fight it helps. Let people know this is not okay - from comments to crime, this bullshit has to stop.

Cash or credit.

2011-02-24T14:25:00.000-05:00

The time has come for me to order new checks, so I started looking online today. I came across some of the most ridiculous templates for personal checks, beyond even imagination. Seriously, if someone handed you one of these, is there any universe in which you would accept them without a serious double-take?! Come to think of it, is there any universe in which you would accept them!?

duhhhhh nuh. duhhhhh nuh. duh nuh duh nuh duh nuh.

You should actually be paying ME for this crotch shot.

I'm sorry it's HOW much?!

Tell ya what, I'll tack on $10 if you can read how much I'm giving you.

So domestic.

YayyyyyyyyyIlovepayingforthingswithmyownpersonalcheckssssss!

What do you mean "it's weird that this isn't my baby"?

For your review:

2011-02-20T19:11:00.000-05:00

My reviews of this year's high-profile Oscar movies (those I've seen, that is):

Black Swan
The Fighter
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
The Social Network
True Grit

Any requests for more before 2/27? Hit the comments...

Could you restate the question?

2011-02-19T11:33:00.000-05:00

A while ago, I posted my introductory paragraph for my thesis. Then I posted my sample, which has since changed. (And changed again, but I didn't post that.)

Here's the research question:

The purpose of this study is to explore the practical implications of these fictitious, cinematic representations of mental health practitioners by looking at the demographic data of the clients and clinicians in films produced in the last twenty years, featuring at least one scene of one-on-one individual therapy. My research question asks: how are the conventions of ethics in therapy treated in modern film? Do the representations of the therapeutic process in this randomly selected group of 50 fictitious films produced between 1990 and 2010 accurately portray the professions they claim to depict, as measured by specific ethical guidelines delineated in a cross-section of each professional Code of Ethics?

Scintillating.

True.

2011-02-15T20:30:00.000-05:00

"Mer!" Jess exclaimed. "I saw the cutest little girl today in the restaurant -- I wish you could have been there! I wanted to take a picture, but that would have been weird. She came in with her mom and brother, and had the cutest little bangs across her forehead, big, blue eyes, your cute little mouth, big cheeks... She was a little Little Mer!"

"Awww!"

"...And then when her mom stood up and walked out to go, she ran the other way!"

Yup, sounds like a little me alright.

Tuna melt my heart

2011-02-14T08:22:00.000-05:00

Jess asked me in October if I would be her Valentine. My 2011 planner hadn't even arrived, and I still felt confident that I could accept wholeheartedly, so sure did I feel that it would be so.

This is a girl who, facing some downtime at work, scribbled punny conversation heart questions with a restaurant theme on the back of checks and gave that "valentine" to every coworker. This is a girl who rejoices at finally being recognized as a regular at our favorite neighborhood Café, smiling with unabashed glee. This is a girl who looks up and says "I want to buy plates with you," with the sweetest little smile. This is a girl who proposes pancakes on a snowed-in morning, sees the value of ice cream on a cold afternoon, dance parties at night, comfies on a weekend, and looks bangin in a bowtie. This is a girl who waited for me for months, knowing all the while that we'd be great loves. And this is the girl who has my whole heart.

Jessie, I'm so happy you're mine. I'm the luckiest :)

Ladies and Gentlemen, My Mother.

2011-01-15T07:45:00.000-05:00

I've been emailing with my mom a bit this week. A few gems:

"Subject: Monday Night Pickup
That's not as racy as it sounds..."

then later:

"We'll hear from you tomorrow afternoon... See you then, and we'll catch you up on any other news if there is any (i.e. Daddy will want to tell you all about his motel reservations)."

and finally, her latest sign-off:

"See you soon. YAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!"

I love my family.

Friday Fact: Make a Wish

2011-01-14T16:40:00.000-05:00

You know how they told you as a kid that your eyelashes wouldn't grow back if ~~you pulled them out~~ they fell out? Well, it's a lie. I used to pull those things out and wish for chocolate ice cream like my life depended on it, and my lashes grow on, unfettered.

But not unfluttered.

Sunday Snaps: A toast

2011-01-09T07:45:00.002-05:00

To a couple of the many fallen heroes of the winter months:

An exhaustive list

2011-01-08T09:00:00.003-05:00

I was looking something up on Wikipedia yesterday and came across a curious phenomenon. At the bottom of their entries, they usually list general categories that apply to each post. For example, for an entry for a person, say, me, they might list "People born in 1984." "Social Workers." "People With Cute Noses."

This entry said: "Living People."

Really, Wikipedia?

Friday Fact: Awww

2011-01-07T18:11:00.000-05:00

Everyone needs an Albert!

Pillow Talk: 6

2011-01-05T07:15:00.002-05:00

From the archive. Jess was both asleep and drunk:

Jess: I know. I know. It's coming.
Me: What's coming?
Jess: The bathing suit.
Me: What?
Jess: The bathing suit is coming.
Me: (trying to get her to drink some water) Just take one sip. Sit up and have one sip of water.
Jess: I hate sips.
Me: I know. (laughing)
Jess: (waking up a little bit) Why are you smiling? Just wait. Wait for the rest of the students.
Me: Please babe... just one sip?
Jess: I hate water. You already made me. (makes sipping noise) See?! It's done.

She's a riot. I'd say I wish you could sleep with her, but that would just be entirely wrong, on so many levels.

Sure thing

2011-01-04T08:20:00.003-05:00

I asked Jess the other day how many of her six feet she thought were comprised by her legs. "Two? Yeah, two feet."

Ichabod?

2011-01-03T08:40:00.001-05:00

Driving by the Harvard soccer fields the other day, Jess hollered, "Look! There's deer in there! A deer! No... maybe it's a cat. Some kind of cat. Okay, no! A FOX! There's a fox in there! Oh you know what? It's a statue. It's a statue of a fox. Nevermind." I laughed and turned to catch a quick glimpse of it, and her final assessment was indeed correct: they have placed mannequin foxes on the empty fields to try to keep geese away. It's basically ineffective, but hey, they're trying.

In a potentially similar vein, the other day I was in Gap, looking at a flirty skirt that I'm in love with and would like to own, and I became aware of someone staring at me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a figure sitting, still, holding its gaze -- directed right at me! I got a little creeped out and fled to the dressing room. When I emerged, remembering that I wanted to ask about a scarf that I'm craving, I started to approach another person standing nearby. I inhaled, opened my mouth, almost started in on "Excus--" whereupon I promptly realized they didn't have a head. Feeling a little sheepish, I looked at my earlier lurker, still sitting as before. Also headless. Oops.

With that track record, I should probably never go to Old Navy, cause I might try to make out with one of their mannequins.

Sunday Snaps: Bottle blond.

2011-01-02T07:00:00.002-05:00

Hungover. Literally.

New Year's Reso11utions

2011-01-01T08:00:00.050-05:00

It's that time again, folks! A new year is upon us, so here we go with a new list of resolutions:

1.) Write and finish my thesis.
Due date: June 24, 2011. Post-residency just doesn't have that same ring to it... plus it'd cost me $500/semester. No, thank you. This shit is getting done, and it's getting done on time. Come June, I'll be wearing blue for sure!!

2.) Graduate.
August, 2011. I am in need of more initials. MFB, MSW.

3.) Get a SW job or fellowship.
Need to start paying back those student loans! And I'd like to do that while actually using the degree that incurred 'em. Makes it feel, oh, I dunno, worth it. And if I'm going to get even more initials in 2 years' time, I need a job in the field. Resumé and references available on request.

4.) Arms, abs, and ass.
Oh, you know. Get in shape. I've gotten to points in the past where I actually enjoy running, and I'd love to get that back. I'll also need more muscles to lug around my second degree. ;)

5.) Cook for Jess.
You gon' get it, girl.

6.) Consolidate.
I am starting to feel like I have a little too much stuff. Each year I get to this point, and each year I do a nice little closet-clean-out. Maybe it's that time again!

7.) Update my movie blog!
I have about 10 seen-movies in a queue and it's about time y'all got to hear my thoughts. I'd like to get back into the habit of writing it as soon as I see it. They're better that way.

8.) Find more reasons to type "queue."

9.) See my besties more often.
I miss my Chosen Chosen people! I miss my college folk! Especially with graduating from Smith, I want to be sure to keep my favorite people in my life.

10.) Write more monologues.
This is a project I have created for myself, inspired by this entry. I think it would be really fun to write monologues. Having had to perform them myself, I feel like I have somewhat of an eye for what makes an interesting monologue for both the actor and the audience, and I think it could be neat! I'm giving myself permission here to wait to start this until after 1, 2, and 3 are complete.

11.) Sing more.
It brings me joy.

Wow, 11! Who knew? So, what's on your list, people?

Friday Fact: Lost sole.

2010-12-31T08:55:00.000-05:00

There's something tragic about a lost sock or glove lying, forgotten, on the sidewalk. It always makes me think of the moment when the person discovers it's gone and mourns its loss. I guess that's better than never even noticing, but still.

Bye, 2010. You've been a good year. Thank you :)

In Review

2010-12-30T07:35:00.000-05:00

Well, as full as it was with worldly disasters, I'm happy to say that 2010 was still a very happy, full year on the mfb front. Some highlights:

- Jessica. Leigh. Martin.
- Living with MegO
- Both years of internships!
- My haircut!
- Writing more... even if it's not my thesis so far...
- Having an approved topic to write about, though :)
- My apartment!
- Miami for the first time
- New York for the umpteenth
- Lemon on a Leash
- My birthday dress!
- Summer at Smith, with My Girl and my girls
- Skydiving!
- Gingerbread people cookies
- Coworkers! Amazing colleagues and friends, in both jobs!
- My new gray corduroy skinnies
- Parp?
- Seeing my cousin for the first time since... well, February.
- Oh yeah! Speaking of February, the duck tour with Meggie in San Francisco!
- My new therapist.
- My awesome clients - my kids from last year, and my non-kids from this year. You're extremely difficult at times, and I may go gray with self-doubt, but you're also incredible, and stronger than you think. Keep coming, and I will too. :)

Here's to a wonderful 2011! Happy New Year!

Kind of a big deal, dude.

2010-12-27T08:00:00.002-05:00

We went to the movies in Harvard Square a couple weeks ago, and after it ended, I excused myself to use the restroom. Jess waited for me in the upstairs lobby, pacing a bit, hands in her pockets. As I rejoined her, another couple headed down the stairs a few feet ahead, staring pointedly back at us. Jess leaned down and said "You know what that lady said as she passed me? 'Look honey! A minor celebrity!!' I wonder who she thought I was?!"

I'm sorry to say that with Jess's recent track record, the lady probably thought she was a guy. :(

Sunday Snaps: The Fir Noël

2010-12-26T12:50:00.000-05:00

How... lovely?

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T08:00:00.003-05:00

... from the FB house :)


The tree, just up, with lights and "cranberry strings..."

... plus ornaments and some presents!

Friday Fact: For unto you there is born this day...

2010-12-24T07:50:00.007-05:00

Whenever a baby is born at the hospital where I work, the first stanza of The Alphabet Song plays over the intercom, hospital-wide. It's pretty nice to take 6 seconds to recognize that a new life has joined us, somewhere nearby...

My Bist Friend

2010-12-23T06:20:00.000-05:00

I've written before about my amazing friend Lisa Joy. As chronicled before, we met at the beginning of middle school and became fast friends, playing in the Winston Players String Ensemble, having sleepovers, and being generally nerdy and goofy all over the place. I spent many an afternoon at her beautiful house, sliding down vast hallways, using the (gasp!) intercom, and learning all the rules of keeping a kosher house -- or at least, which dishes go in which dishwasher and which shelf the milk goes on in the fridge. I was the token goy at many a Seder, and we laughed many a night, squawking "Charles! Bring the car round!" in a British accent while lounging on a chaise longue.

At some point during 6th grade, when we realized we didn't have to pay attention in our classes to get good grades, we started passing NoteBooks back and forth to each other. These were essentially journals, which we thought were indistinguishable from regular school notebooks, in which we took turns writing each other lengthy notes. We would compete for "longest note," and our writing would eventually get bigger and bigger until we were putting about 3 words per page and thinking we were verbose rockstars of the written word. I'm shocked these were never confiscated by passing teachers -- containing, as they did, our deepest and darkest secrets and realizations. ("The difference... is Merrill Lynch!")

We sat together in French class every day, learning about Beau Beau and singing along to "C'est l'Halloween " and "Joe le Taxi " -- oh, and watching La Boum, which is kind of an amazing movie, PS. On the extracurricular level, she went on to pursue mock trials while I focused more on theater, but our paths stayed fused as we spent Saturdays at the New England Conservatory, playing in Ms. Melba's youth orchestra. We also both tried out for volleyball when we got to high school, and sweated through many brutal practices each fall.

Very involved in her camp, Lisa made frequent trips to visit friends from there during high school. I remember exchanging letters with her during each summer, and marveling at her awesome penmanship -- back to a normal size at this point. In the spring of our senior year, Lisa stage-managed our production of Cabaret, and did a helluva job of corralling our many egos. We all split a limo for senior prom, and vowed to stay in touch during college.

Sometime in high school we started our New Years tradition of watching dance-along and quote-along Center Stage, with our infamous multi-way kiss. We started calling Lisa "Bis" and got together during the breaks to rehash our various semesters at school. Bis was tearing it up at Northwestern as a DZ, consistently fabulous intern, and willing recounter of dating debacles. We stayed friends, grew closer, and I went to visit her a bunch of times when she moved to Silver Spring, MD, after graduation to work a l'aeroport at a PR job.

We had talked for years (since French class in middle school) about taking a trip somewhere together, and in the Spring of 2009 we jetted off to St. Martin for a petite aventure. There, we went ziplining, survived an earthquake, and indulged in fabulous tanning opportunities. We ate moules frites, made friends at the pool, and observed the local pelicans in their natural (diving) habitat. We also probably drank our weight in vin and ate our weight in fromage, but no matter. It was such a great trip, and I couldn't have asked for a better travel buddy than Bis.

Now she attends the Stern Business School at NYU and is the co-Editor-in-Chief of the Stern Opportunity. Already in her time there, she has completed an internship at the Cannes Film Festival and will soon be heading off to Australia and Brazil for two more amazing learning opportunities.

Most importantly, she is gaining the necessary business experience to support us when we open our Cakerie and Paperie later in life, to be called Deux Petites VaLises and feature the most delicious desserts and perfect paper products your heart could possibly imagine.

She's driven, talented, smart, and gorgeous to boot. Watch out, world. And Happy Birthday, Bis!!

...or should I say, Joyeux Anniversaire!!

Glee

2010-12-20T07:05:00.034-05:00

I got really excited when I realized yesterday that it's Christmas week! My absolute favorite holiday is nigh! My presents are wrapped, the lights are on the tree, and I only have 3 days of work until a well-deserved (if I do say so myself) 5-day break.

It's a little funny that it's present time again given that just a few weeks ago, on her 29th birthday, I gave Jess 29 presents. I found out that one of her gifts for Christmas is going to arrive late, and she brushed me off, saying "Mer, I probably still haven't unwrapped all my birthday presents yet." This is, of course, untrue. I handed her one after another and know for a fact that they all saw the light of day... That's not to say, however, that she has gotten to use them all yet.

For example, on Thursday, we finally got around to using the popcorn-popper she incredulously unwrapped 12th. I filmed this encounter, and it's pretty much the cutest, best reaction to a present EVER. Stick it out til the end for a classic Jessism:

Happy Holidays, Hippoblogamii!

Sunday Snaps: Fair fare?

2010-12-19T07:30:00.002-05:00

No more, no less.

Friday Fact: Peace

2010-12-17T06:50:00.007-05:00

I like walking by cafés at night, when the lights are low and a lone sweeper makes their way round the abandoned tables, topped with chairs.

Who, now?

2010-12-16T14:30:00.001-05:00

Jess came to the Psychiatry Department Holiday Party with me last week. "I feel like I'm in a New Yorker cartoon," she quipped. Too true. Psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and a bar.

I introduced her to my colleagues as my girlfriend, as, very early in our relationship Jess had informed me that she loathed the term "partner." ("But what will you call me when we're 80?" I asked. "You'll still be 'my girl.'" Awww, shucks.) Anyway, as long as she's not asking me not to post her sleep talking shenanigans, I listen to my lady. Everyone was schmoozing at the Harvard Faculty Club, and Jess wanted to die a little as every single person responded to my introduction of her by saying: "Nice to meet you. Are you in the mental health profession?"

She struck up a conversation with the leader of one of my seminars, who has recently had another book published. She was very interested to know how Jess has been doing with her own publishing process, and my girl seemed to be doing okay, so I left the two of them at it and got another glass of wine.

Today I went into my seminar, the holiday party feeling years away after having had a week full of clients with depression, schizoid personality, mania, bipolar II, trauma history, and drug addiction. My seminar leader arrived and made a bee line for me, saying "I was so happy to meet your partner, Meredith."

I am ashamed to say that I looked at her with a totally blank stare. In my head, in a serious Southern drawl, I thought, "My pardner?! Well, little lady, I don't got a pardner..." Then I wracked my brain to try to think what she might possibly mean. A partner in crime? A business partner? A partner... OH GOD. My girlfriend. Dammit.

I called Jess later to inform her that I apparently have no idea who she is. :::sigh:::

Pillow Talk: 5

2010-12-15T06:45:00.011-05:00

From my archives:

Jess: (twitches in her sleep) Did you feel that force?
Me: No. Did you?
Jess: Uh huh.
Me: Where did you feel it?
Jess: In my belly.
A few minutes later, another twitch.
Jess: I felt that.
Me: Felt what?
Jess: Body burst.
Me: What's a body burst?
Jess: Star burst. Starbursts.
Later, I whispered goodnight in her ear.
Me: Night. I love you, Jess.
Jess: That's nice.
Me: Sweet dreams. I love you.
Jess: Sweet dreams are made of these.
Me: You have got to be fucking with me, right?

Fashion Police

2010-12-14T07:00:00.001-05:00

We have been trying to get my dad to watch Modern Family because he'll likely love it. He did, incidentally, watch the pilot episode months and months ago, but true to form, has forgotten most of the details. What he does remember is that Ed O'Neill is on the show and has a hot Colombian wife (are we really surprised that Sofia Vergara is a detail a man remembers?).

Bubba: Who's got the Latina?
Me: The guy from Married With Children -- the guy you like.
Bubba: I wouldn't say I like him. He wore polyester pants.
Christy: Not to mention that he was a chauvenist pig... but yeah. Let's talk about the pants.

Sunday Snaps: VIP.

2010-12-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

Beware! Be bare!

Not-so-social network

2010-12-11T07:25:00.000-05:00

Me: You know, about Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook.
Bubba: There was some tawdry reference on some talk show that he was impotent.
Nuddy: No, Dad, that was Edward the 8th.
Bubba: Well someone was impotent on TV.

Friday Fact: Buzz cut.

2010-12-10T07:35:00.003-05:00

I highly enjoy shredding things.

What a snooze

2010-12-09T07:25:00.006-05:00

Last week I had a dream that I was asleep. I woke up and then I woke up. It was quite confusing. To boot, you'd think I'd be doubly-well-rested, but in fact it was quite the opposite. Bummer.

UnderStiegment of the year

2010-12-08T08:55:00.000-05:00

Christy: So what movies have you seen or not seen?
Bubba: The last one we saw was about that Swedish girl who gets in situations.

Sample, amended

2010-12-07T07:20:00.001-05:00

Having realized that I cannot access 3 movies from this previous sample of 50 , they're being replaced by the next 3 from the random list generator thing:

15. Great New Wonderful, The
30. Dr. T & the Women
41. Martin & Orloff

And off we go. Netflix, library card, ye shall be my friends.

Brethren, singular.

2010-12-06T07:50:00.001-05:00

When my mother was pregnant with me, my brother infamously told her that he thought she should have a girl. "We have enough boys," he opined. Whenever I tell that story to someone who isn't acquainted with my family structure, they inevitably then ask, "Aww! Wow, how many boys did she already have?"

Juuuust the one.

But he's the best one!

Happy 31st to my amazing brother Christopher!

Sunday Snaps: Small... minded

2010-12-05T07:20:00.001-05:00

In the 3rd floor hallway at the outpatient clinic:

Harry Potter and the Bubba

2010-12-04T07:45:00.000-05:00

Over Thanksgiving Break, the FBs went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One. When we got home, all revved up, we decided to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to revisit the beginning of it all. The following exchanges ensued, thereby making my vacation complete:

Bubba [upon viewing Alan Rickman as Snape]: Who invented this actor?!
Christy: Alan Rickman is the best sleaze.
Bubba: Is that all he does?
Me: No... In Sense and Sensibility he's the nicest...
Bubba: He's the what?! The racist?!
All: No!!!
Bubba: The census taker?! What did you say?!

and later:

Bubba: I know this part!! I know it well!! It's scary and dangerous!!
Christy: Shhh! Don't give it away.
Bubba: Ohhh, I don't remember a thing.

Friday Fact: In the dark.

2010-12-03T07:45:00.004-05:00

There is a bathroom at work, the light switch for which is located outside the room. I find that I am constantly just a little bit terrified that a mischievous patient will turn it off whilst I am inside.

Research Question

2010-12-02T23:30:00.001-05:00

The thesis goes on:

Do the representations of the therapeutic process in this randomly selected group of 50 fictitious films produced between 1990 and 2010 accurately represent the professions they claim to depict, as measured by a cross-section of each professional Code of Ethics? Are social workers portrayed any differently than the other mental health practitioners?

BAM.

Sample.

2010-11-29T07:10:00.002-05:00

I've got a big ol' thesis deadline this week, so that's it til Friday, folks... but I'll leave you with my final sample of films, finally! I own the ones in bold, but if you have any of the others and feel like letting me borrow, please HOLLER because I need 'em!

   1. Harriet the Spy
   2. Analyze This
   3. Watcher, The
   4. Mr. Jones
   5. There's Something About Mary
   6. Running With Scissors
   7. Basic Instinct
   8. Departed, The
   9. Lars and the Real Girl
10. Silent Fall
11. Mozart and the Whale
12. Prime
13. Prince of Tides, The
14. Final Analysis
15. Trouble on the Corner
16. No Reservations
17. Antwone Fisher
18. Walking and Talking
19. Stephanie Daley
20. Silence of the Lambs, The
21. Merci Docteur Rey
22. Office Space
23. Mumford
24. Lovemaster, The
25. 12 Monkeys
26. Donnie Darko
27. Time To Kill, A
28. Squid and the Whale, The
29. What About Bob?
30. One-Nine-Hundred
31. Good Will Hunting
32. Grosse Point Blank
33. Don Juan de Marco
34. Shopgirl
35. Whispers in the Dark
36. Wackness, The
37. Transamerica
38. Sordid Lives
39. Charlie Bartlett
40. Beautiful Mind, A
41. Coffee Therapy
42. Ellie Parker
43. Cell, The
44. Treatment, The
45. Happiness
46. K-Pax
47. Groundhog Day
48. Scout, The
49. Shrink
50. Stranger Than Fiction

1: Two lovers of friends

2010-11-28T00:29:00.000-05:00

Today is my girlfriend Jess Martin's 29th birthdayyyy!!! She's leaving a lucky 28th year and heading into an even better one...

The Birthday Girl!

So let's review:

I have technically known Jess since April of 2007, but our story begins long before that... in February. I was ~~bored out of my mind~~ working at mlb.com in Manhattan, spending a vast majority of my afternoons gchatting with Naomi. Seven or eight months earlier, Nay had been hired at NYCO by Sabrina, aka The Ultimate Event Planner, aka Jess's older sister and occasional blog star. At some point that winter, she sent Naomi a link to Jess's blog... and my friend proceeded to rave about "Sabrina's hysterical sister" to me for days. Finally (finally!) she sent me a link, relating a story she had already attempted to re-tell. I have, in fact, the exact snippet of conversation:

February 13, 2007

"For your enjoyment, Sabrina's sister's blog (the hilarious Eldridge B. story):

http://openeyedsneeze.blogspot.com/2007/01/eldredge-b.html"

After reading that, and laughing embarrassingly hard at work, I was hooked. And thus began my ~~stalkerly~~ dedicated perusal of the archives of Open Eyed Sneeze. Starting at the beginning, I read the entire blog. I did so little work and laughed so loudly over the following months that it's seriously amazing I wasn't fired. Jess is an incredible writer - smart, informed, funny, witty, introspective, observant, and with perfect -- perfect -- timing. It came as no surprise that she was talented and driven enough to have written a memoir and was starting the blog as a supplemental piece... but dang. It stood out on its own. And so did she.

Just over a month after first reading hers, totally inspired, I started my own blog on March 15, 2007. Needless to say, my writing is nowhere near any of those nice descriptive words I used about Jessica's. However, it made me feel, even more, like we were meant to be friends. We had things in common! She had a blog, I had a blog. She wrote her blog, and I read it. She knew what happened in her life and SO DID I.

So when we finally met on April 27, 2007 at Naomi's Birthday Karaoke Extravaganza, I rushed up to her as if to my long lost best friend. A few drinks in, to say the least, it was a particularly enthusiastic greeting. "Hiiiiii!" I said, with a swooping hug. "You don't know me, but I read your blog!!" (Take note, folks. Best line ever.)

The first picture...

Well after that, having met face-to-face and been confirmed in our best friendship, it seemed only fitting that I start commenting obsessively on her blog. And, being the lovely lady that she is, Jess started commenting back. One of the first such exchanges is here:

July 9, 2007

Looooved this post, Jess. You crack me up. (etc.) xo, Meredith

Hey Meredith! Thanks for your comment! Sabrina sent me your blog a while ago (i love it) and i've been meaning to leave a comment but i wasn't sure if you'd remember who i was.

Always the joker, that one. And so we continued over the years, writing and commenting and writing and commenting, until one day I discovered that Miss Thang was moving to Boston:

August 19, 2009

...heard you might be in the boston area shortly... holllaaaaa!!

Thanks Meredith:) I'll be getting in touch for sure!!

Sure enough, come September 20th, 2009, I received an email from Jess (subject: "bff.com") asking if I was around and if I would like to join her for brunch. Shortly thereafter, we stood in a rainy line at the Centre Street Café, and I talked her ear off about my broken boots and work at the middle school. Over a delicious brunch (Huevos Mexicanos for her, California Sunrise for me) she filled me in on the move to the Bean, her new job, and kept me laughing with both. "You're fun," we both said, and vowed to do it again.

And off we went. With frequent brunch meets ("Breakfast burrito or pancakes?"), movies ("Really?!"), movie credits ("Deluxe Cateri-- awww."), Martin family milestone events ("I'll take a card, thank you."), and weekly, then daily emails (saved for last each time I logged into my inbox), I got to know Jess better and better as the year went on.

I listened to the pains and pleasures of work. I heard about her coworkers and her customers, and simultaneously learned, to no surprise, that she's incredible with people - she remembers their faces, names, orders, grandchildren, quirks, stories, everything. She's exactly the kind of person who encourages you to become a regular somewhere, just for the joy of seeing her every day. I totally get why some of the customers keep coming back to talk to her each day - she's magnetic.

She's also one of the hardest workers I know, and has a fierce sense of what is right when it comes to how to treat people in the service industry. Her face and tone revs up like one of the classic cars she loves when she speaks passionately about workers' rights and the ethics of the business. Seriously. I dare you to talk to her about this and leave less than a 20% tip EVER. Right, Deb?

I learned about parts of her past, as she spoke in glowing tones about her time in San Francisco with her alter ego, Natasha, and "the greatest roommate ever." I heard about her rowing days at Syracuse, her time abroad in London, growing up on the squash farm in Brockport and the months there after college, and the time she spent in New York with her sisters. You name it, she has lived or wants to live there. This drive to see and discover makes it a wanderlust in every sense of the word, and I've learned that it's fascinating to discover and inhabit a city through her eyes.

I heard hysterical and poignant stories about friends in each of these places, and developed what I think is a pretty clear picture of each personality she mentioned. With the way that she speaks about the friends in her life, it's no surprise that people have been thrilled to connect with her recently on Facebook (as much as it pains her to have succumbed...).

Through it all, however, I saw one set of relationships remain constant and strongest for Jess: those with her family. Her stories about her childhood are some of her happiest, and the respect and love she has for her parents is truly amazing. As represented on the blog, their warmth comes across, but only half as much as in person; upon meeting them, I realized immediately how Jess came to be such a nice person. Sending her girls off to school every day, Deb Martin said, "Be kind!" How incredible, right?

Her sisters and she could be triplets when it comes to how close they are, and for someone who has never had a sister, it's really amazing to see. They speak practically in code, so ingrained are the inside jokes and their mutual understanding, and never have I seen a person light up as much as Jess when laughing about their shenanigans.

As we got closer, I learned about even more little things that make her the incredible girl that she is. Her love for coffee, Stella ("Hi, Monkey!"), Converse, hats, popcorn, fall wear, When Harry Met Sally, good beer, comfies, Mexican food, layers, being a regular herself, industrial design, and being clumsy as all get out, are all cute and lovable aspects of her personality. She has the best laugh, the most brilliant smile, lion eyes, and the cutest dance moves of anyone I've ever met. She's also incredibly patient (cough) ... thanks, Baby ;) Her enthusiasm for people and their successes is unparalleled, leading me to tell her that she "sees the perfect in people."

I think I mentioned already that she also WROTE A BOOK, which is pretty much the most impressive feat that any of my (vastly talented) friends have accomplished - across the board. I've read it, and I can tell you it's freaking amazing, and homegirl needs a publisher!! If you're reading this and find yourself agreeing, laughing, touched, or intrigued, please hit up her blog or her facebook page (where the salient comments seem to be (a) "you caved!" and (b) "You're the funniest person I have ever met!") and show your support. It's about damn time for that shiz to be in hardcover!!

It has been my privilege to get to know Jess the way that I do. To hold her hand, laugh with her, and spend my days with her is my absolute pleasure.

Love is Here. Love is Her.

I feel so grateful to know her, have her, hold her, and love her.

And tease her. :) To resolve any lingering confusion on anyone's part, allow me to clarify: Despite her (apparently deceiving) hair color, Jess is NOT 65. You hear that, counter lady? 29!! And it's gonna be a good one!

To borrow a song from the Martin clan:

Kings and Queens and Bishops, too

want to wish the best to you!

So wish day, wash day, whaddaya say, Birthday -

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy BirFFday, Jessie!

je t'aime.

Saturday Snaps: WILU FM.

2010-11-27T08:05:00.000-05:00

This is it.

Friday Fact: Oh, InDEED.

2010-11-26T06:55:00.000-05:00

I have the best girlfriend in the entire world and I am the happiest, luckiest girl.

I'm not gon' sing my turkey song.

2010-11-25T15:30:00.022-05:00

It's that time of year again, when we gather to give thanks, sing songs, stuff our faces with yummy, yummy food, lie on the floor to help digestion and end by hitting up the pie table, a la moooode. Rinse and repeat.

Tomorrow the FBs are trekking off to see HP7.1, and I'm also getting a massage... both of which I'm feeling very thankful for already! Here's the rest of the annual rundown:

I am thankful for love. Specifically, that I love and am loved by Jessica Martin. This girl... ahhh! I'm smiling as I type :) She's brought such joy into my life, first as a friend -- no, continuously as a friend -- and now as the love of my life. I feel so lucky to call her mine and to know what it's like to love someone wholly and be loved in return in the same way. I've never felt love like this, and it's indescribable, and I'm really freaking grateful for her. Fills me right up <3

I am thankful for laughter. It keeps me going through what can prove to be very dark days in the clinics. I am thankful for all the times in the past year that I have laughed til my face hurt, til I couldn't move my cheeks because they were so stiff from being in a smile, til my stomach ached, tears seeped from my eyes, and I thought I might collapse for lack of breath. I can't even count 'em, and I feel lucky to have such funny, joyous moments in my life. Also, for this show.

I am thankful for my friends. In March or so, I decided that it would be nice to write about my friends on their birthdays, and doing so has brought back so many awesome memories and reaffirmed that I have truly astounding people in my life. You support me, love me, hold a knowledge of me that transcends the years that seem to fly by, and really are like family. Speaking of which,

I am thankful for my family. Lots of change this year, with retirements and relocations and whatnot, and the FB clan carries on, interesting, fun, loving, and nutty as ever. Love you guys. :)

I am thankful for my health. So many of my patients don't have this, and it just reminds me to be grateful.

I am thankful for music. I told a friend a couple years ago that I couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be able to sing, to not have that ability, release, that power, that joy. Tight harmony, unexpected melodies, my friends' faces, our voices joined in song... Seriously. I'm blessed. Also, April Smith, Brandi Carlile, The Decemberists, Freelance Whales, Greg Laswell, Ingrid Michaelson, Mumford & Sons, and Lady. Freaking. Gaga.

I am thankful for my job. I love what I do. That's really amazing, especially in these times. It took me so long to figure out what I wanted, and now that I'm doing it, and doing it well...? Gosh. I wish that for everyone I know, cause it feels damn good to wake up every day and go to a job that I like and feel competent doing. That I am also helping people is just the cherry on top. (Except, insert a better metaphor, because top-o-the-sundae-to-ya cherries are disgusting.)

I am thankful for my supervisors. These women are awesome. They guide me through all my neurotic moments, laugh with me, kindly get me back on track when I mess up, and remind me that I can do this, dammit.

I am thankful for learning. It's such a privilege to go to school! To be an intern! To ask the stupid questions! To take information in and to sit with it, let it marinate, mature, and then put it into practice! It feels as indulgent as that 3rd piece of pie I fully intend to have later.

I am thankful for my therapist. Introspection is a luxury, in this day, to my absolute chagrin... and I am thankful for the space on the couch in the sunny corner office that is my new holding environment.

I am thankful for my apartment. I love my attic room, my "magical cave" as my LOT girls called it, my escape to adulthood... I loved painting it (hehe), decorating it, nesting... everything. The stairs are a killer, but hey. It's the climb.

Hokayyy, I just quoted Miley Cyrus. It's the tryptophan. Time to go.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Pillow Talk: 4

2010-11-24T07:40:00.001-05:00

The sleep talker speaks again :)

Jess: Is it too hot outside?
Me: What?
Jess: For the party.
Me: Hmm?
Jess: (raising voice) Can anyone hear me?
Me: I can hear you, Jess.
Jess: (getting annoyed) Well is it too hot outside for the party?
Me: What party?
Jess: For the magic party.
Me: What party?
Jess: The magic party. Magical. Madrigal. I dunno.
Me: And what happens at that party, Jess?
Jess: Donkeys.

w T f

2010-11-23T07:05:00.006-05:00

To get from Harvard Square to South Station, you take the Red Line, Inbound.

To get from South Station to Harvard Square, you take the Red Line, Inbound.

Ohhh, Boston.

Pillow Talk: 3

2010-11-22T05:15:00.000-05:00

Sleepy Jess strikes again:

Me: You're my everything.
Jess: ... I am not your mother.

Girl's got a point.

Sunday Snaps: Squeal!

2010-11-21T07:15:00.000-05:00

Cute alert:

gthanks

2010-11-20T06:25:00.006-05:00

It took her all four years, but by the end of my senior year in college, my mom was proficient with AOL Instant Messenger. She liked to type in alternating colors and would start every conversation: "Dear Meredith" and end it "Love, Mummy." It was cute, especially when she got stuck in caps lock and eveRYTHING BECAME QUITE URGENT.

I was gchatting with a friend the other day when MamaFlout signed in to her gmail account. She's new to gmail and newer to gchat. I trusted her track record though, and struck up a conversation.

Me: hi mom!
(pause)
type in the box
and press "return"
it's like AIM
Margot: hi
what are you doing?
Me: just checking email and talking to naomi
what are YOU doing?
Margot: checking email
this little box tells me when you are typing!
Me: haha yes
isn't it neat?
Margot: I'm done now. Bye.

Annnnnd scene.

Friday Fact: Chest thump. Single tear.

2010-11-19T06:45:00.001-05:00

You know what?! I'm freaking BUMMED that I never saw Céline in Vegas.

Taking account

2010-11-18T06:30:00.004-05:00

Just under a year ago, I came up with a list of 6 resolutions for 2010. Here's a little check in:

1.) Pick my thesis topic and start writing.
The former: Picked. The latter: Slow but sure.

2.) Get back in shape.
Eh. Good over the summer, bad ever since. Can't quite remember when I've ever been happier, though, so I'm not too fussed. :)

3.) Get my medical issues in line.
Done! Love my dermatologist.

4.) Be nicer.
Ha!

5.) Revisit my old writing projects and see where they stand.
Revisited. Assessed. Findings: I had good ideas. They are all not as good as "finishing my thesis," and are therefore back on hold.

6.) Catch up on classic movies.
Didn't even really get to this one at all. See aforementioned statement regarding my thesis.

Time does fly, doesn't it? More to come in just over a month...

Bublish? Bubbalese?

2010-11-17T06:45:00.002-05:00

Next week is Thanksgiving! Ahh! I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with the family, and have been reflecting about how thankful I feel to have them. The holidays are always colorful with Bubba around.

My dad has his own arsenal of choice words and phrases, a little vocabulary all his own, thrown casually into conversation here and there (some more frequently than others), quite to the amusement -- or confusion -- of all around. Allow me to provide a guide.

Twitterpated: When two people are infatuated with one another and engage in flirtatious behavior.
Origin: Bambi.

Snoopy dance: A mark of sheer excitement, performed by hopping in place, two feet at a time, occasionally accompanied by flapping arms and an elevated chin.
Origin: Peanuts. (Here's a funny parody, though.)

Shit-le-mard: A combination of French and English, uttered in moments of angst.
Origin: Canada. Frenglish. Something. Who knows?

Minga: To be used relatively interchangeably with the former.
Origin: Portuguese? Italian? Learned while working on the TransCanadian Railroad in his youth with workers of that ethnicity who used it frequently.

Tabernacle: Pronounced with a heavy French accent and accompanied by an emphatic hand gesture, a potent swear word uttered in moments of anger.
Origin: French Canadian.

Shnot shnots: Boogers OR dirty tissues.
Origin: Unclear.

Pickeatie: The act (or result) of picking one's nose and eating it.
Origin: His own creation, unfortunately inspired by his children -- at a younger age, goshdarnit!

Schmaltzy: Sappy, overly romantic or sentimental.
Origin: Yiddish?

Tippled: Drunk
Origin: Unknown.

Poopsticks: Uttered in consternation, albeit slightly amused consternation.
Origin: Bubba brought two weights down to the Sunfish at the beach, and, looking at them hanging at the end of their rope and slightly rusted, I mentioned that they looked like poop sticks. He overheard me and latched on.

Love your lingo, Bubba. Whatever the hell it means. :)

Introspection taking flight

2010-11-16T07:25:00.001-05:00

My clients don't say as many funny things as my kids did last year. I am therefore bringing out this gem that I found, saved from April.

I co-faciliated a girls' group that focused on self esteem. We met for 6 weeks over lunch, and at our highest capacity we had 4 attendees; at our lowest, 2. For the two who came each week, however, I know the group made a big difference.

We asked them, at the end, to write about what they were going to take away from our time together. S, one of the 12-year-old Good Girls, as they titled themselves, said this:

"I learned that H likes animals, C is sweet, like me. And I like chicken wings."

'Ey Luce!

2010-11-15T07:00:00.010-05:00

My landlord is Joe Fusco. Joe, Jr.

A few gems from the source:
-------
Tomorrow night, 8:00.
What?
I got Ice Capades. I know a guy.
-------
Excuse me, do you live here?
Live here? I own this place.
Oh. Well then you would know the woman who lives in 201.
Know her? I'm dating her.
-------
Mr. Joe... Fusco... Jr. He said you were... intimate.
Yeah, well he also said he invented aluminum foil. He's delusional.
-------
What are you doing?!
I slipped!
You're trying on my shoes?!
No, when I fell, my foot just went like that... right into the shoe.
-------
God, doesn't anyone use the phone anymore?!
I do!
I'm not talking about 900 numbers.
Who told?!
-------
Ok, Luce, it's either me or him.
Him.
...You don't have to answer right away.
-------
It's that other guy, isn't it? I've seen the way you look at him.
How do I look at him?
Like you just seen your first Trans Am.
-------
Are you wearing the black bra?
(slap)
I love black underwears!
-------
Hey Luce! Is this guy bothering you?
No, no.
Are you sure? Because it looks like he's... leaning.
No, I'm fine. Thank you.
I'll be right over here if you need me. I know karate. (hits head on tree)
-------
Your hair is looking very big tonight.
Well thank you. I love your new cologne.
It's called Paris Guy. It's from France. (To guy:) Are you looking for Lucy?
Yes.
She is the best-looking chick in this building.
Hey!
But you are the best looking chick... on the third floor!
Joe Jr.!
Phyllis!
-------
How's it going with 3rd floor girl?
She's... (dissolves into tears).
Well you know what? We can try on some of my shoes...!
Ok.
-------
If you don't know what movie I'm talking about, call me around Christmas and I'll be guaranteed to be watching it... right next to Bubba.

Sunday Snaps: Branch out.

2010-11-14T09:15:00.000-05:00

Are you just gonna leaf that there?

An unprofessional Situation

2010-11-13T09:45:00.000-05:00

At work yesterday, I was chatting with a sassy staff psychologist who has been working in the system for a long time. She was telling me about different work settings she has been in where the staff are less professional.

Linda: You know, there are some organizations where the staff just Snooki each other in the hallways. It's really terrible. I personally have never really been Snooki-ed, and maybe people don't get Snooki-ed so much anymore, but it definitely used to happen a lot.

Me: Um... what do you mean by Snooki-ed?

Linda: Oh well have you ever seen the Jersey Shore?

Me: Yes...

Linda: So the people who just say "Fuck you, fuck yourself, you fucking asshole," that kind of thing. You know. Snooki-ed.

Oh. Right. Is that, ah, gonna make it into the DSM-V?

Friday Fact: Favorite thing.

2010-11-12T07:40:00.003-05:00

In an elementary school production of The Sound of Music, I was offered the part of Maria and turned it down to play Liesl, based solely on the fact that she was sixteen-going-on-seventeen, which just about seemed like my concept of heaven back then.

Zzzz.

2010-11-11T07:15:00.001-05:00

Yesterday at 3pm, my brother checked in to a 14 day sleep study at a local research hospital.

He has spent the past 2 weeks completing the screening process, wearing a little light-sensitive wristwatch that monitors activity and light intake. He has also been committed to waking and sleeping within 20 minutes of 7:00am and 11:00pm, respectively, each day.

I've done a couple sleep studies on Jess. My findings are as follows: First, she's quite pretty. Second, she can carry on a conversation, fast asleep, and it's (A) hysterical, (B) adorable, and (C) completely non-sensical. Third, she gets initially really upset when I tell her about my previous finding, but then actually loves to hear about the things she says. It's all very scientific, really.

But seriously, my brother's is the real deal. He will spend the next 2 weeks in a constantly-observed room, with only the things he brought with him (in his case, a guitar, some books, and maybe some dvds). The bathroom is not under surveillance, but basically every other moment of his life is under scrutiny. He cannot exercise. He cannot know what time it is. He cannot know what day it is. He has to sleep with little electrode monitor thingys on his head. He had to shave his beard so they can attach them to his face, too. He cannot contact anyone other than a researcher immediately outside his room, unless it is by snail mail. He has to complete two cycles of constant wakefulness for 24 (or is it 48? hmm.) hours, during which he can ask someone to come in and talk to him to stay awake, but... that's still mad hard.

Taking note of the letter-writing clause, I made sure he had my address and told him I expect a letter each day. "I won't know what day it is!" he laughed. "For all I know, I could end up writing you every 40 minutes!"

"That's fine," I said. "I'll keep them, and we'll publish them. We'll call it Letters From the Inside. Keep a dream journal, too. We'll call that Letters From Inside the Inside."

"Speaking of which, did I tell you about the Intercamp Mail I found from you?" he asked.

When we were both campers as kids at boys' and girls' camps down the road from each other, we exchanged letters delivered by the administrative staff. Or, should I say, I exchanged letters. My brother has, historically, been the quiet child...

"Well, I found a stack from you from one summer. Basically each letter would start with 'Well, you haven't written me back yet. I guess you're never going to write me. WHY haven't you written me? I really wish you would write me, but I just know you won't.' Each paragraph was written in a different color pen."

"Heck yeah, it was! Lisa gave me a set of glittery gel pens for precisely that reason!!"

"Then after you'd finished describing every minute of your day, you'd sign off by returning to 'Well, I guess you're never going to write me back, but I really wish you would. Write me write me write me write me write me ahhhhhhh why don't you ever write meeeeee?!?!?'"

Redemption is a sweet, sweet thing. Now's your chance, Nuddy.

Stop Drop and Chomp

2010-11-10T17:00:00.000-05:00

Ever wondered, "If my apartment caught on fire right now, what would I take?"

No?

Well, I do. I guess I'm morbid like that.

Anyway, I thought I might never know, until today at work, when we had a fire drill at 10:30 this morning. I grabbed, in this order, my purse, my jacket, and an apple.

A frickin APPLE. Not a coworker, not my files, not... oh, I dunno, even chocolate seems more character-appropriate. An apple.

Food for thought.

It's in my genes.

2010-11-08T23:45:00.011-05:00

Well, now I understand where I learned my signature boogie:

Sunday Snaps: Driving Miss Diva.

2010-11-07T08:10:00.000-05:00

I freaking love this company.

Vote!

2010-11-06T08:20:00.002-04:00

Well, if we all learned something this past Tuesday, it's that it's important to exercise our right to vote. Otherwise, bad things can happen.

Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to advise you all to go here and vote for my girl Molly, who has been nominated for "BEST Local Blogger" by the Boston A-List!! This is such exciting news.

For those of you who haven't read her work, check it out here, and prepare to spend some time drooling over her amazing food reviews, fun fashion tips, movie reviews, and more.

Vote! Vote! Vote!

Friday Fact: Aight?

2010-11-05T08:35:00.002-04:00

My name, abbreviated, is spelled Mer. M-E-R. Ain't nothing "mere" about me.

Flamin Maimie

2010-11-04T07:20:00.006-04:00

Found an old hat of mine from when I was about 10 while going through the closet at my parents' house last weekend. Made of plaid wool, with a suede brim and leather strap to tighten it at the back, this cap also sported the initials of the all-girls sleepaway camp I attended from age 7-15.

"Suede... plaid... leather... all girls camp..." I listed. "Is anyone really surprised that I'm dating a woman?!"

Slang

2010-11-03T07:45:00.002-04:00

Jess was telling a coworker of hers that I am writing my thesis this year. Apparently, her colleague replied, "Thesis is such a scary word. It's very daunting." Jess concurred, and later laughingly came up with a bunch of alternate titles for us to use when referring to this project:

1.) Flim Flam Floom
2.) Goober Gopper Goo - "Actually, no," she said, soon after proposing this. "Just Goo-Goo."
3.) Boobleygoosh
4.) Hee Haw

We've been going with #1 thus far, and I admit, it adds a certain whimsy to the whole thing. It's hard to take myself too seriously when she asks, "Oh, are you working on your Flim Flam Floom later?"

Google me.

2010-11-02T08:05:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you've all Googled yourself at some point. If you haven't, you should. It's enlightening. I did so the other day to see what comes up for me in case a potential client searches for me. Most of the hits are for college a cappella stuff and reviews of plays I was in at Rochester, but I realized that there are a few sites that have my family's information listed -- unclear how it was obtained, but so be it. Wouldn't have known to ask them to take it down unless I had searched! So go! Google!

Anyway, in sort of related news, there's a function on Blogger that allows me to see what searches people enter that have brought them to this blog. Along with a healthy smattering of searches that are clearly looking for this site, there were two that juuuust didn't quite fit:

- "barnard bitches"

- safari ballooning

Whattt?! Those search terms beg the question: What are you looking for the in the first place, and how the heck did Google direct you to my blog?!

Hello, daylight, my old friend...

2010-11-01T06:30:00.000-04:00

I think the worst day of the year to have to do a Walk of Shame must be the day after Halloween.

Sunday Snaps: Phalanges

2010-10-31T07:40:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Seasonal

2010-10-30T16:40:00.003-04:00

Saw my first Sam Adams Winter Lager today, and got a little sad.

Friday Fact: Get a handle on yourself.

2010-10-29T07:25:00.001-04:00

At work at the Outpatient Psych Clinic, my team references "depression cycling" with regard to some patients. This, of course, makes me think of very mournful bicyclists making their sad way 'round the Bean.